Blog Layout

3 Signs You’re Being Manipulated (and How to Break Free)

Drenda Keesee • Mar 13, 2019

“She’s giving me the silent treatment for choosing what was best for my family.”

“They were so mean to me last week, but now that I have something they want, they’re being nice.”

“I really don’t want to go to that dinner, but I’m afraid he’ll be mad if I say no.”

Have you ever been manipulated or intimidated by somebody?

Some people treat us this way naively, simply motivated by feelings of jealousy, control, insecurity, or anger.

Others do it compulsively. I call those people “sharks.”

We can all be sharks or demonstrate sharklike qualities from time to time, but these people do this so consistently, so maliciously, that this isn’t an accident on their part—it’s a habit.

We all like to think we’re the masters of our lives and that we don’t allow ourselves to be manipulated or controlled by anyone, but that’s rarely the case. Even people’s unwilling social cues can cause us to make decisions we otherwise wouldn’t.

In most cases, we become shark bait by taking false responsibility.

Recognizing when we tend to become shark bait can help us change direction and swim to free waters.

Here are some telltale symptoms you’ll experience when you’re being manipulated by a shark:

1. You have dread.

Dread is often a symptom of being shark bait. I remember a time when I experienced dread every time I had to speak or step out in my calling. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. And the reason why? I dreaded hearing the opinion of a specific woman who always gave me her two cents worth on how she thought I did. We were “friends,” so I thought she had my best interests at heart.

Wrong.

I remember talking to Gary one day and saying, “They’re going to think…”

My husband interrupted kindly, “Honey, who’s they? ”

I finally took a step back and realized this “friend’s” criticism was a huge source of anxiety in my life.

See, when a shark has influence in your life, it makes you want to stay in the boat. They make you feel intimidated, trapped, can take the fun out of your calling, and, ultimately, make you want to quit or give up.

2. You start doubting yourself.

Another symptom of being shark bait is self-doubt . Sharks make you feel like you aren’t capable, so you want to just give up before you even try. When a shark has influence in your life, you may find yourself quick to turn down opportunities and afraid you’ll invite their criticism and upset the waters.

Self-doubt is like poison—if you tolerate it, even just a little, it will kill your confidence and can even make you feel paralyzed.

3. You give up or compromise on your dreams.

“The only thing wrong with trying to please everyone is that there’s always at least one person who will remain unhappy—you.” —Elizabeth Parker

Once dread and self-doubt consume you, you’ll find yourself surrendering your dreams at the altar of fear. You don’t think you’ll ever achieve your dreams, so you start to settle for what sharks tell you you can do and have.

Friend, only God can tell you what you can do, who you are, and what you have through Him.

Recognize when you’re dealing with the symptoms of being shark bait and get out of the shark-infested waters as quickly as possible.

_________________________________________________________

These are just THREE out of the SIX symptoms of manipulation Drenda unlocks in her new book, Shark Proof: How to Deal with Difficult People. She also unpacks:

  • The seven toxic mind-sets of a people pleaser
  • The best way to stop caring what people think about you (and start living again)
  • The eight stages of disloyalty that will help you identify who’s on their way out of your life and who’s in it for the long haul
  • How to end the toxic relationships you want to let go of, and set healthy boundaries in the ones you want to keep
  • The five shark maneuvers you need to know unless you want to be shark food (and how to combat each one of them)

If we would have known these things sooner, it would have saved us thousands of dollars—not to mention years of wasted time.

That’s why Drenda wrote this book. Your destiny doesn’t need to be delayed by difficult people, heartbreak, intimidators, or naysayers.

Order your copy today, and discover the incredible principles that took us decades in ministry and business to learn. It’s time to master the art of dealing with difficult people in every area of your life.

5 Steps to Release the Kingdom in Your Life

By Gary Keesee • 10 Apr, 2024
Reading Time 2 mins 13 secs – In John 6, we read the story of Jesus feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. Do you know it? It’s where we see Jesus teaching the disciples how to release the Kingdom of God into the earth realm. Basically, a large crowd was following Jesus, listening to Him teach, and watching Him perform miracles. It got to a point where the people needed to eat, and Jesus asked the disciples what they planned to feed the people. Of course, Jesus knew the disciples would freak out. They couldn’t feed 5,000 people. In fact, they started talking about how it would take more than half a year’s wages to buy just a bite for that many people. Jesus was teaching the disciples, and He was teaching us— the Kingdom of God has all the answers you need . How can you release the Kingdom of God into your life? Here are the five steps Jesus took. 1. Look at what you have. Jesus asked the disciples what they had to feed the people. What do you have in your life that you can give God to work with? Jesus multiplied bread into bread and fish into fish. What do you need multiplied in your life? Find some of it. That’s your seed. Also, remember that money can be named. You don’t sow money to believe for more paper or digital money. Money represents your life and can be named to be the thing you need multiplied. 2. Make sure you’re in faith. “To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1, GNT). You have to know how to judge whether or not you’re in faith. How? Do you have the right picture? When you close your eyes, what do you see? Do you see yourself with the thing you’re believing for? Can you defend your position? Why do you believe it? Prove it! Because you can be sure that between the “Amen” and the “There it is!” the enemy is going to contend for it, so you better be able to defend it. Do you have joy, expectancy, and peace? Are you in agreement with your spouse? 3. Confess over what you have, and release it in faith. Be specific. Say exactly what you’re believing for and release the seed to God. 4. Get the plan from God. Be ready for new direction, new ideas, and new concepts by revelation from the Holy Spirit. Carry a notepad and a pen. Write everything down. 5. Act quickly! When God gives you the plan, MOVE! It’s wise to have counselors and get wisdom, but you need to act swiftly on any direction you receive from the Holy Spirit.

Want Growth and Success? Here Are 10 Steps to Help Take You There

By Gary Keesee • 13 Mar, 2024
Reading Time 2 mins 34 secs – How can you make sure you’re equipped for the growth coming your way this year? Here are my 10 steps to posture yourself for opportunity and success. 1. Ask yourself how you’re handling your current responsibilities. Don’t run from your responsibilities. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you should be a success. People will still see the evidence of God even if you think you’re in the wrong spot. 2. Detox your life of the things that keep you from having time to think. We live in a fast-paced world. There are plenty of things that can keep you distracted. But it’s in the moments that you stop to think that you’ll find ways to solve problems, and that’s where the opportunities are. So figure out what is consuming your time. Start saying no to some things. Find time to think. 3. Don’t hang around people who are always losing. I know people hit rough spots, but if the people in your life are chronically losing, it’s time to expand your circle. Hang around people who are better than you are, who don’t see things as impossible, and who have vision. It may be uncomfortable for you, but their influence will cause you to think differently. 4. Write down EVERY idea that you have, no matter how strange it seems. Most people filter opportunities and ideas through what they perceive their ability to be. This means most people discard ideas by the dozens because they don’t think they can do them. But God isn’t limited to what you know how to do. The ideas He gives you might seem so weird to you that you can’t process them fully. Write them down so you have time to think about them. 5. Research. Research. Repeat. You don’t need to know how to do something; you need to know how to learn how to do it. Research until you find what you’re looking for. 6. Count the cost before you jump. A lot of Christians hear God and jump out too soon, resulting in catastrophe. There are seasons for everything. God will prepare you for where He wants you to go. Be patient. 7. Always be in agreement with your spouse. Never, ever march out into battle without your spouse being in total agreement and your faith aligned. 8. Ask God for direction. Ask Him to help you, to show you where to go, and what to do. And always remember that prophecy from other people shouldn’t lead you; it should only confirm what God has already said to you. 9. Commit to never quit. Quitting is not an option. Once you’ve moved, don’t move again until God speaks to you. Stay with it. Walk it out. Don’t quit. So many people have so much potential, but they get uncomfortable and they quit. If you want to win, you should always be stretching. 10. Get ready to embrace bigger things. Your ability to see the big picture will keep growing as you change and grow on the inside. You’ll pick up on even more opportunities. For more principles, check out this FREE video on success.

The Consequences of Strife: Why You Should Never Allow It in Your Life

By Drenda Keesee • 14 Feb, 2024
Reading Time 2 mins 59 secs – A stuffed toy laid in the road at the scene of the accident. As we passed, the Lord spoke to me, “ Okay, this is your last warning. Are you going to continue this? You know you are opening the door to the enemy.” Gary and I had had a disagreement just before we had left the house for our family road trip. And there we were six hours in and we’d barely said a word to one another. Six hours. You think driving from Ohio to Tennessee is a long stretch of highway? Try doing it while giving someone the silent treatment. One word: torture. Then we passed the accident. Gary and I both felt the same conviction when we passed it, especially because it clearly involved children. But... pride. We knew what we were doing wasn’t good. (What kind of example is it to your children to ignore each other?) But neither of us wanted to lay down our pride. I kept hearing the voice of the Lord, and I’d think, No, I’m not going to fix this thing, because then I’ll have to talk to him. It was almost a competition to see who could hold our grudge for the longest. But strife is dangerous stuff. What is strife? Drama, conflict, friction, disagreement, bickering, arguing, bad blood, disputes… whichever words you use to describe it, it’s dangerous. Whether it’s between you and your spouse, you and your child, you and a friend, you and a family member, or you and a coworker, you don’t want to let strife remain in your life. The Bible says that where there is strife, there is confusion and there is every evil work (James 3:16). Our small argument between Gary and I had gone unchecked and had escalated, and neither one of us were listening to the voice of the Lord. And there were consequences for our strife and outright disobedience. About an hour after we passed the accident, a car pulled out in front of our vehicle, and we were in what could have been a very serious car accident. I started yelling the name of Jesus, and God supernaturally protected our entire family. Initially, it looked as though there were going to be serious issues. They told us our son’s spleen might rupture. I was pregnant, and the doctors worried that I might lose the baby. Through all of these things, we stood on the Word of God, and we all came out unharmed, including the young preacher’s son who had pulled out in front of us (he was in disobedience at that moment too). Even in the midst of this difficult situation, through our prayers, standing on God’s Word, and our children’s words to the medical personnel, we had opportunities to minister and impact the little county hospital we had to visit. The enemy tried to take us out, but he lost. We were responsible for opening the door to the enemy. But the name of Jesus is more powerful than our mistakes and circumstances, and that is what kept us protected. You MUST stay on guard and not allow strife in your life, with anyone. How? Here are just three quick tips: Bite your tongue. You don’t have to say everything you think. Don’t lash out or give the silent treatment. Work on communicating with others in a healthy way. Repent quickly and forgive quickly. Take responsibility; admit when you’re wrong. Say you’re sorry and ask for forgiveness. Don’t hold onto hurts. Forgive as you’ve been forgiven by Jesus.
Share by: