Are You Lonely?

Drenda Keesee • December 11, 2019

Feeling Lonely?

It’s that time of year again—the beautiful decorations are up in homes, stores, and churches; Christmas carols are playing on nearly every radio station; thousands of last-minute gift idea emails and articles are flooding your inbox and newsfeed. It’s a joyous time of social gatherings, shared rituals, and reminiscing for many people. But have you found yourself feeling lonely?

While it’s a myth that there are more suicides in December than at any other time of year, it is true that more people experience loneliness during the months of November and December than any other time of the year.

Why?

Because we’re bombarded with images of bonding families, laughing friends, and fun work parties. The entire season is supposed to be about being with others, giving to others, and loving others, but more and more people only feel more alone and isolated during the holidays. In a time when there are more ways than ever for us to connect with others, people feel more lonely.

That’s because so many of the ways we “connect” with others can easily become superficial.

Our need for intimacy can’t be satisfied by the superficial.

We were created for communion—for an exchange with God and others on a much more personal level. True intimacy comes from being known and understood and knowing others on that same level, and that doesn’t come easy in a fast-paced, competitive world, where it’s hard to know who to trust or to find time to invest. Close relationships have become harder and harder to build in the midst of our super busy lifestyles.

So, what can you do if you’re feeling lonely during this season, or any others for that matter?

1. Take a hard look at your expectations.

Are you:

  • Expecting an invite to something every weekend?
  • Looking at social media often and feeling envious of what everyone else appears to be doing?
  • Expecting your holidays to look like those in the movies?

Society sets high expectations for ALL of us during this time of year. Examine your own expectations. Don’t fall into the trap of comparison or setting your expectations too high. Make sure you’re being realistic.

2. Practice thankfulness.

It’s harder to think about how lonely you’re feeling when you’re focusing on things you’re thankful for. Think of the things you value in your life and are thankful for and write them down in a “gratitude journal.” Read through it when you’re feeling down or lonely.

3. Don’t withdraw.

Oddly, we have a tendency to isolate ourselves more when we’re feeling lonely. But avoiding social gatherings during the holidays will only make you feel more alone.

Don’t be afraid to initiate contact with people. Reach out to others no matter how difficult it may seem, and go out.

4. Take care of yourself.

A healthy diet, a regular sleep pattern, and exercise can all help improve your perspective. Be sure you’re eating right, getting enough sleep, and doing some sort of exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.

5. Volunteer.

Get your mind off of yourself by getting it on others. Work at a soup kitchen, organize a food or coat drive, or help an elderly neighbor. Find a cause you believe in and give your time.

And most importantly…

6. Connect with God

Get in the Word and pray. Don’t pull away from God. No one knows you better than He does or understands loneliness more. Jesus experienced the ultimate loneliness of the cross, but His sacrifice cleared the way so you can go to God and experience His presence when you feel lonely.

Jesus is a dear friend who will never leave you or forsake you.

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Please note: Sometimes loneliness is a symptom of a greater problem. If you have ongoing feelings of loneliness or depression, it may be time to seek the professional help of a pastor, Christian counselor, or medical professional.

 

The post Are You Lonely? appeared first on Gary Keesee Ministries.

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Reading Time 3 mins 46 secs – Picture this. You’re standing at the edge of a foggy path that winds through a forest. You’ve never walked this path before. You can’t see more than a few feet ahead. There are no signs. No map. No flashlight. Just a still, quiet voice inside telling you to start walking. Would you? Most people wouldn’t. They’d wait until the fog clears. Until the way is visible. Until they feel “sure.” But that’s not how the Kingdom works. Friend, faith walks before it sees. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) tells us this plainly: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Not what we can see. Not what we understand. Not what’s guaranteed. Faith is walking when it feels like you’re walking blind, but you’re actually walking guided. Let’s talk about Abraham for a second. God said to him, “...Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you” (Genesis 12:1, NIV). God didn’t show Abraham the land first. He didn’t explain all the details. He didn’t promise a step-by-step plan. God simply said, “ Go, ” and Abraham went. He didn’t argue. He didn’t delay. He didn’t ask for the weather report or route details. He trusted the voice. He walked before he saw. And because of that one step, a generational promise was unlocked. Now, let’s fast forward to the New Testament, to the story found in Matthew 14. Jesus came walking on water in the middle of the night, and Peter saw Him. Peter said, “Lord, if it’s really You, tell me to come.” And Jesus said, “Come.” What did Peter do? He stepped out of the boat and onto the water. Pause and think about that. Peter walked on water—not because he had magic in his feet but because he trusted the One who called him forward. Peter walked before he saw. Yes, he started to sink when he looked at the waves, but before that, he did what no other human besides Jesus had done: he walked on water by faith. Friend, your boat might feel safer. It might feel familiar. But if God is calling you out of it, staying there is more dangerous than stepping forward. Let’s get real for a second. There are seasons when God will not show you the full picture, on purpose. Why? Because if He showed you everything, you’d try to control it instead of trusting Him with it. Faith is trusting His character when you can’t see His hand. It’s saying yes without having every answer. It’s building the ark before the rain comes. It’s marching around Jericho before the walls fall. It’s digging a ditch before there’s a drop of rain. That’s the Kingdom. Here’s what the Bible says: “For we live by faith, not by sight,” (2 Corinthians 5:7, NIV). That’s not a metaphor. That’s a lifestyle. You don’t wait until all your fear is gone to obey. You don’t wait until you’re certain to trust. It means you don’t wait until your finances line up perfectly to give. You walk before you see. Let’s look at one more example. In Acts 9, Saul, who later became Paul, was traveling to Damascus while persecuting Christians when, suddenly, a blinding light stopped him. Jesus spoke directly to him, and Saul was blinded. God then instructed a man named Ananias to go and pray for Saul and restore his sight. Ananias was hesitant because he knew Saul’s reputation for harming believers. Despite his doubts and without any guarantees, Ananias obeyed and went to Saul. He stepped out in faith before knowing the outcome. That single act of obedience set the stage for Paul’s powerful ministry and the writing of much of the New Testament. So, let me ask you… Where is God asking you to walk, before you see? To step into a calling that scares you? To give up something you’ve leaned on for security? To trust Him with your finances? To forgive someone you haven’t gotten an apology from? Whatever it is, I want you to hear this. You don’t have to see the outcome to take the next step. You don’t have to understand the entire path to move forward in obedience. Faith walks before it sees. That’s where the miracles are. That’s where the provision is. That’s where peace is waiting. Your comfort zone won’t get you there. But your obedience will. God doesn’t need your full understanding. He needs your full surrender. So today, let this be your reminder… You don’t have to feel brave. You just have to follow. Even in the fog. Even in the unknown. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Because God is already in the place He’s calling you to. He’s gone ahead. He’s prepared the way. He’s waiting at your next step. So, take it. Because faith? It always walks before it sees.