Win the Person, Not the Debate

Gary Keesee • December 17, 2019

Enjoy this special guest post from my friend, Dave Anderson.

Yes, you do want to win the person.

In this emotionally charged age of liberal versus conservative; atheist versus believer, or pro-this versus anti-that, it’s easy to get so caught up in rhetoric, invective, and the belief that he who talks the loudest and longest wins the debate that you can lose sight of the what I believe is a more relevant objective than winning the argument; winning the person.

And I’m not just referring to the person with whom you’re having differences but also winning those who witness the exchange.

This is why, when watching a news show where there are “experts” on both sides of an issue interrupting one another— shouting out zingers and elevating a normal speaking tone to a series of hysterical shrieks—I change the channel so that whatever intelligence I have left isn’t insulted further.

To be a more effective proponent for causes you are passionate about when you come face-to-face with someone who believes otherwise, I’d like to share some wisdom gleaned from the book Hell? Yes! by Dr. Robert Jeffress.

Influencing vs. silencing

Remember that the goal is to keep the dialogue going with the other person, not to shut him or her down.

People with strong personalities and rhetorical ability think that if they can silence their opponents they’ve won the argument. But any married person knows that’s not the case. If you’re having a disagreement with your spouse, it’s easy through intimidation or insult to cause them to disengage from the discussion. But you haven’t persuaded your spouse of anything, except that you’re a jerk.

For too many people, silencing, rather than influencing has been a primary tactic when discussing sensitive issues like abortion, politics, religion, and the like.

But no one is really heard or understood. The debate diminishes into cheap shots and name calling and the lines separating two sides become a gulf.

Take steps to win the person.

1. Engage with those who hold opposing points of view.

This was a key principle Jesus Christ used for winning people instead of just winning arguments. Jesus went to some places where he was not particularly popular, because to “catch fish” He had to go where the fish were. His goal was not isolation but influence.

2. Listen to other people’s stories.

The way to influence others is not by cornering them and then dumping your own “stuff” on them. Rather than unload your spiritual or political dump truck of arguments and answers to unasked questions, carefully listen to the other person you’re trying to influence. It is only after they feel understood that they’ll be willing to understand.

3. Let your walk speak louder than your talk.

A debater’s goal is to win the argument. A disciple’s goal is to win the person.

Far too many people who share my own Christian faith have learned that they can win a war of words but still lose the war over someone’s soul by being unnecessarily harsh and judgmental. Many non-Christians have rejected the Gospel not because of the offense of the Gospel, but because of the offensiveness of Christians.

I might be persuaded to become a Christian…..if I ever met one. – Gandhi

Arthur Burns was a Washington power broker who served in prominent governmental positions from the 1960’s through the 1980’s. He was a counselor and confidant to a number of U.S. presidents during his career. Arthur Burns was also Jewish.

That is why his regular attendance at a weekly Bible study and prayer meeting at the White House in the 1970’s was a surprise to many. Although he was warmly welcomed, different members of the group who took turns leading the meetings never called on him to pray.

One week, however, a newcomer leading the group asked Arthur Burns to close in prayer. The other members shot nervous glances at one another, wondering how Burns would respond to this awkward situation. Burns never hesitated. Instead, he joined hands with the others in the group, bowed his head, and prayed:

Lord I pray that you would bring Jews to know Jesus Christ. I pray that you would bring Muslims to know Jesus Christ. Finally, Lord, I pray that you would bring “Christians” to know Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Samaritan woman at the well was ultimately drawn to a Person, not to a dogma. When she ran into the city to tell people what had happened to her, she did not shout, “Come and listen to these ideas that have change my mind”, but “Come see a Man who has changed my life!”

Winning an argument is a tactic. Winning the person is a strategy.

Tactics win battles. Strategies win wars.


By Gary Keesee January 19, 2026
Reading Time 3 mins 59 secs – A new year isn’t just a change on the calendar; it is an opportunity for alignment. God is always moving, always advancing His Kingdom, and always inviting His people to come into agreement with what He’s already established. Scripture tells us that God’s throne is established in heaven and His Kingdom rules over all. That means heaven is not distant, theoretical, or reserved for later. The Kingdom of God is active, present, and meant to be experienced now. When you understand that you are a citizen of God’s Kingdom—not someday, but today—it changes how you think, how you pray, and how you live. You stop reacting to life from the outside and start governing from the inside. This is how heaven touches Earth. You Were Created to Rule, Not Struggle From the beginning, God gave humanity authority. He didn’t create people to survive on Earth; He created them to steward it. Dominion was always part of God’s design. Genesis tells us that mankind was created in God’s image and crowned with glory and honor. That crown wasn’t symbolic. It represented authority backed by heaven itself: authority to subdue, to bring order, and to enforce God’s will in the earth. Although that authority was lost through rebellion, Jesus legally restored it. Colossians reminds us that we were rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the Kingdom of God’s Son. You are not waiting to enter the Kingdom. You are living in it now. Citizenship Changes Everything Citizenship isn’t just identity. It’s access. When you were born again, you didn’t just receive forgiveness; you received legal standing in God’s Kingdom. Ephesians tells us plainly that we are no longer strangers or outsiders but citizens and members of God’s household. That means the benefits of the Kingdom belong to you now, not later. As a citizen, you have: A right to provision. A right to healing. A right to wisdom and direction. A right to peace and freedom. You don’t approach God as a beggar hoping for mercy. You approach Him as a son or daughter who understands covenant. That perspective alone will change how you pray. Stop Running. Start Seeking. Jesus told us not to run after provision the way the world does. Anxiety-driven effort is not Kingdom living. Instead, He instructed us to seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness. Seeking the Kingdom doesn’t mean begging God to do something He already said yes. It means learning how the Kingdom operates and aligning your life with its laws. In God’s system: Seed produces harvest. Faith releases authority. Agreement allows heaven to move. Truth drives out fear. Everything you need already exists within the Kingdom structure. The issue is rarely whether God is willing; it’s whether we understand how to receive. Understanding Produces Confidence Many believers love God deeply but live unsure of their rights. That uncertainty shows up in prayer filled with desperation instead of confidence. Scripture tells us that when we ask according to God’s will, He hears us, and if He hears us, we already have what we’ve asked. That’s not hope; that’s assurance. Confidence grows when you stop allowing vague ideas about God to shape your thinking and start grounding your life in what His Word actually says. You are not disconnected from heaven. You are not powerless. You are not at the mercy of circumstances. You are a citizen with authority. Agreement Unlocks Heaven on Earth Jesus demonstrated how the Kingdom works everywhere He went. He didn’t plead with the Father to act. He acted in agreement with the Father’s will. When people received healing, freedom, or restoration, it wasn’t because God suddenly decided to intervene. It was because someone came into agreement with what heaven had already established. Heaven moves when faith agrees. Heaven advances when truth is believed. Heaven manifests when authority is exercised. Disagreement—whether through fear, doubt, or false teaching—blocks what God desires to release. Agreement opens the door. Simple Ways to Align with the Kingdom This Year If you want to experience heaven on Earth more fully, start with these practical steps: Renew your thinking daily. Keep God’s Word in front of you morning and night. Truth recalibrates faith. Pray with confidence, not panic. Stop begging. Start agreeing. Expect God’s direction. He knows what you need and how to lead you there. Guard what you believe. Don’t entertain ideas that contradict God’s character or promises. Act on what you know. Authority works when it’s exercised. A Simple Prayer Father,  Thank You that I am a citizen of Your Kingdom and a member of your household. I choose to align my thinking, my words, and my actions with what You have already established. I release every old mindset that limits Your work in my life. Teach me how Your Kingdom operates. Lead me by Your Spirit. Let this be a year of clarity, confidence, and forward movement. I receive what You have already given and step into the life You’ve prepared for me. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee December 8, 2025
Reading Time 4 mins 6 secs – Thankfulness isn’t just good manners; it’s a spiritual posture. It’s how your faith stays strong, your heart stays aligned, and your life stays connected to what God is doing. In a world that constantly pulls on your emotions, drains your joy, and fills the air with fear and pressure, thanksgiving becomes how you stay connected to the victory Jesus has already won for you. Second Corinthians 2:14 reminds us that God always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through our lives, He spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere we go. That’s not just poetic language. That’s a description of your life in the Kingdom. You were designed to walk in victory, carry the fragrance of heaven into every room, walk in faith and not fear, and bring evidence of God’s goodness wherever you go. And the doorway into that life? A thankful heart. Thankfulness Is Your Position of Strength You don’t wait until you see victory to thank God. In the Kingdom of God, thankfulness comes before the breakthrough. First Corinthians 15:57 reminds us that God gives us victory through Jesus. Not someday, not eventually, but as a present, active reality. When you say, “Thank You, Lord, for leading me into victory in this situation,” you are aligning your heart with what God has already spoken. You are: Agreeing with His Word. Positioning yourself to receive. Stepping into alignment with His promises. Philippians 4:6 tells us to bring every request to God with thanksgiving. Gratitude is not the result of answered prayer; it’s part of how we pray. If someone handed you a check and you said, “I’ll see if it clears, and then I’ll thank you,” how eager would they be to bless you again? In the same way, when we approach God with “Father, thank You that You always lead me into victory,” we’re not pretending. We’re trusting His character before we see the outcome. That is faith. Gratitude Changes the Atmosphere You don’t just walk into a room; you carry an atmosphere. We’ve all stepped into places that felt heavy, tense, or anxious without anyone saying a word. But God designed you to carry something different: Peace instead of pressure Freedom instead of fear Victory instead of defeat A sound mind instead of anxiety When you adopt a posture of thanksgiving rather than one of complaint, your home changes, your conversations change. Psalm 100 reminds us that we enter God’s presence with thanksgiving and praise. Gratitude isn’t just something we do; it’s how we step into His presence and shift the atmosphere around us. How We Limit God When We Forget to Say “Thank You” Psalm 78 tells us that the people of Israel limited God not because His power failed but because they refused to agree with Him. God wanted to bless them. He had good plans for them. But instead of aligning with His promises, they complained, focused on what they saw instead of what He said, and talked more about giants than about God. Grumbling doesn’t just make you miserable; it closes your hands. Thankfulness opens them. The same is true for every promise in your life—provision, wisdom, direction, breakthrough, and peace. Ask yourself: Am I agreeing with God or resisting Him with my words? Do I talk more about the problem or about His promise? Have I been limiting God by withholding my thankfulness? Simple Ways to Practice Thankfulness Every Day You don’t have to wait for Sunday to live a thankful life. You can practice gratitude right where you are. Start with these 5 simple rhythms: Thank Him before you see the answer. When you pray, don’t just ask. Take time to thank the Lord that the answer to your promise is already yes. Guard the atmosphere of your home. If voices, media, or conversations are feeding fear and heaviness, turn them off. Make room for worship, the Word, and encouragement. Say “thank you” out loud. To God. To people. For big things and small things. Train your heart to respond with gratitude instead of suspicion or resistance. Worship on purpose. You don’t need a worship team to praise. Turn on worship in your car, your kitchen, your living room. Lift your voice. Let His presence fill your space. Check your heart often. If thankfulness and gratitude haven’t been on your heart much, don’t condemn yourself; just correct your course. Let God restore your joy. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You that in Christ You always lead me into victory. I repent for every time I’ve complained, drifted, or agreed more with fear than with your Word. Today, I choose to be thankful. I say “yes” and “thank You” to Your promises, Your plans, and Your goodness. Restore to me the joy of my salvation. Lift off all heaviness. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit. Let my life carry peace instead of pressure, praise instead of complaining, faith instead of fear. I receive Your wisdom, Your strength, and Your direction for every situation I’m facing. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee November 13, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 59 secs – Health isn’t just about how long you live; it’s about how well you live the life God’s called you to. You were created with a purpose, and your body is the vessel that carries that purpose forward. When your body is weary, your mind drifts, and your spirit feels disconnected, it becomes harder to walk in everything God has assigned to you. That’s why good health isn’t optional in the Kingdom. It’s stewardship. God Cares About How You Feel All through Scripture, God shows concern for His people’s well-being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Jesus healed bodies, calmed minds, and restored people to community. Health in His Kingdom is wholeness, not just healing. It’s walking in peace instead of pressure, strength instead of survival. When you take care of your health, you’re not just maintaining your body; you’re honoring your Creator. Every time you rest when you need it, fuel your body with good food, or take a walk instead of worrying, you’re saying, “Lord, I trust you to sustain me.” Health Is a Faith Decision Faith and health are connected. When you believe God for provision, you also believe Him for energy, renewal, and longevity. Your health journey isn’t about control; it’s about alignment with the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:1 tells us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. That’s not a verse about restriction; it’s about devotion. Your body is a place where the Holy Spirit dwells, and how you care for it reflects your faith. Ask yourself: Am I fueling my body for the calling I’ve been given? Do my daily choices create strength or drain it? What does obedience look like in this area of my life right now? Small acts of obedience like drinking more water, sleeping enough, managing stress, and choosing gratitude are seeds of faith that produce lasting fruit. The Rhythms of Renewal God designed life in rhythms: day and night, work and rest, sowing and reaping. When you move with His rhythm, you live from rest instead of running on empty. Here are a few rhythms that restore strength: Rest intentionally. True rest is more than sleep; it’s trust. It’s the decision to stop striving and let God restore what effort cannot. Eat with awareness. Food was meant to nourish you, not control you. Choose what fuels your body for purpose rather than what comforts it in pressure. Move with joy. Exercise isn’t punishment, it’s a partnership. Every step, stretch, or breath can be an act of worship when done in gratitude. Renew your mind. A healthy body begins with healthy thoughts. Replace “I’m so tired” with “God strengthens me daily.” What you repeat, you begin to believe. When You Feel Stuck There will be days when progress feels invisible. Maybe you’re waiting for healing or battling habits that feel impossible to break. Don’t quit. God doesn’t measure health by perfection. Philippians 1:6 reminds us that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion. As you continue showing up with faith, the results will follow. A Simple Prayer Father, thank you for giving me this body as a gift, not a burden. Teach me to care for it with wisdom and gratitude. Strengthen me to make choices that bring you glory. Renew my energy, restore my joy, and remind me that you are the source of my strength. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Remember This Health isn’t about chasing balance; it’s about choosing alignment. When your spirit leads, your soul settles, and your body follows. Walk with God, and you’ll find strength that doesn’t fade, energy that renews daily, and peace that carries you farther than willpower ever could.