How to Handle Betrayal and Disloyal People

Drenda Keesee • March 15, 2019

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” —Anonymous

Have you ever felt betrayed by somebody?

Gary and I have had to deal with many betrayals over the years in business, ministry, relationships, and friendships. We know it’s not fun.

When someone you trusted hurts you, betrays you, or leaves you, it can be one of the most painful and heartbreaking situations. It can be tempting to feel like you failed, to quit, or even to give into bitterness or anger.

First of all, know that betrayal is not a reflection of who YOU are.

Even Jesus faced betrayal. Judas was one of Jesus’s 12 disciples, being mentored by Jesus and ministering with Him. But Judas gave Jesus over to be crucified for just a few silver coins, and even marked it with a kiss.

Ouch.

There is nothing as painful or devastating as this tactic from the enemy. I can trace any time Gary and I have been tempted to quit to this type of attack. These attacks can be especially hurtful when they come from someone you love and trust—someone in your inner circle, like Judas was to Jesus.

A staff member, a close friend, a family member…

Remember, a person’s betrayal is not a reflection on you, as a leader or as a person; it’s a reflection of what’s going on inside the person who betrayed you.

The Stages of Disloyalty

Matthew 10:16 says, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

That verse perfectly describes how we are called to work with people.

When you get hurt, it’s easy to become suspicious and hard-hearted toward people. But God wants us to see the best in everyone. He also wants us to walk in wisdom and the discernment of the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 6:12 says:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

We have an enemy who wants to stop us from reaching our destinies, and he has to work through people.

That’s why we have to use the discernment of the Holy Spirit.

Did you know that a bull shark is half the size of a great white shark, but it’s responsible for the most shark attacks?

Things aren’t always as they seem.

According to Dag Heward-Mills’s book Loyalty and Disloyalty, here are the first four stages of disloyalty:

1. Independent Spirit This is where someone starts on the pathway to disloyalty. These are people who, even though they have pledged loyalty to a person, group or belief, begin to operate independently. In other words, the rules no longer apply. They are no longer submitted to authority.

2. Offense A person starts operating in an offended mind-set, which causes them to become bitter and even hateful.

3. Passivity Once someone is well into the offense stage, they drift into passivity and inaction. You may notice they’ve started sitting in the back during your meetings, stopped communicating with you, or started showing nonverbal signs of disinterest.

4. The Critical Stage Passivity doesn’t last forever. Eventually, the person only seeks and magnifies flaws. They can only see the bad.

Hang with the Eleven

When someone you thought was a trusted friend betrays you, you might want to take it personally.

But the way someone behaves toward you is a reflection of their character, not yours.

Gary and I spent too many years in ministry trying to save the betrayers.

Part of that was my need to please people.

I think too many leaders spend half of their lives trying to keep their Judas’s from hanging themselves instead of spending time with the eleven who love them, support them, and could help further their mission.

Pray for the betrayers, but continue to pursue your calling.

Consider this: Jesus used His betrayer, Judas, to achieve His assignment.

Whoa.

You might think that sharks in your life set you back or knock you off your trajectory, but trust that, if you let Him, God will use even the betrayers to advance your purpose.

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We’re excited to tell you about Drenda’s newest book, Shark Proof: How to Deal with Difficult People ! We learned how to successfully deal with difficult people the long, hard way, but you don’t have to.

“I know that this book is going to unlock the incredible principles that changed Gary’s and my life. I can’t wait for you to read it!” – Drenda

 

By Gary Keesee January 19, 2026
Reading Time 3 mins 59 secs – A new year isn’t just a change on the calendar; it is an opportunity for alignment. God is always moving, always advancing His Kingdom, and always inviting His people to come into agreement with what He’s already established. Scripture tells us that God’s throne is established in heaven and His Kingdom rules over all. That means heaven is not distant, theoretical, or reserved for later. The Kingdom of God is active, present, and meant to be experienced now. When you understand that you are a citizen of God’s Kingdom—not someday, but today—it changes how you think, how you pray, and how you live. You stop reacting to life from the outside and start governing from the inside. This is how heaven touches Earth. You Were Created to Rule, Not Struggle From the beginning, God gave humanity authority. He didn’t create people to survive on Earth; He created them to steward it. Dominion was always part of God’s design. Genesis tells us that mankind was created in God’s image and crowned with glory and honor. That crown wasn’t symbolic. It represented authority backed by heaven itself: authority to subdue, to bring order, and to enforce God’s will in the earth. Although that authority was lost through rebellion, Jesus legally restored it. Colossians reminds us that we were rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the Kingdom of God’s Son. You are not waiting to enter the Kingdom. You are living in it now. Citizenship Changes Everything Citizenship isn’t just identity. It’s access. When you were born again, you didn’t just receive forgiveness; you received legal standing in God’s Kingdom. Ephesians tells us plainly that we are no longer strangers or outsiders but citizens and members of God’s household. That means the benefits of the Kingdom belong to you now, not later. As a citizen, you have: A right to provision. A right to healing. A right to wisdom and direction. A right to peace and freedom. You don’t approach God as a beggar hoping for mercy. You approach Him as a son or daughter who understands covenant. That perspective alone will change how you pray. Stop Running. Start Seeking. Jesus told us not to run after provision the way the world does. Anxiety-driven effort is not Kingdom living. Instead, He instructed us to seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness. Seeking the Kingdom doesn’t mean begging God to do something He already said yes. It means learning how the Kingdom operates and aligning your life with its laws. In God’s system: Seed produces harvest. Faith releases authority. Agreement allows heaven to move. Truth drives out fear. Everything you need already exists within the Kingdom structure. The issue is rarely whether God is willing; it’s whether we understand how to receive. Understanding Produces Confidence Many believers love God deeply but live unsure of their rights. That uncertainty shows up in prayer filled with desperation instead of confidence. Scripture tells us that when we ask according to God’s will, He hears us, and if He hears us, we already have what we’ve asked. That’s not hope; that’s assurance. Confidence grows when you stop allowing vague ideas about God to shape your thinking and start grounding your life in what His Word actually says. You are not disconnected from heaven. You are not powerless. You are not at the mercy of circumstances. You are a citizen with authority. Agreement Unlocks Heaven on Earth Jesus demonstrated how the Kingdom works everywhere He went. He didn’t plead with the Father to act. He acted in agreement with the Father’s will. When people received healing, freedom, or restoration, it wasn’t because God suddenly decided to intervene. It was because someone came into agreement with what heaven had already established. Heaven moves when faith agrees. Heaven advances when truth is believed. Heaven manifests when authority is exercised. Disagreement—whether through fear, doubt, or false teaching—blocks what God desires to release. Agreement opens the door. Simple Ways to Align with the Kingdom This Year If you want to experience heaven on Earth more fully, start with these practical steps: Renew your thinking daily. Keep God’s Word in front of you morning and night. Truth recalibrates faith. Pray with confidence, not panic. Stop begging. Start agreeing. Expect God’s direction. He knows what you need and how to lead you there. Guard what you believe. Don’t entertain ideas that contradict God’s character or promises. Act on what you know. Authority works when it’s exercised. A Simple Prayer Father,  Thank You that I am a citizen of Your Kingdom and a member of your household. I choose to align my thinking, my words, and my actions with what You have already established. I release every old mindset that limits Your work in my life. Teach me how Your Kingdom operates. Lead me by Your Spirit. Let this be a year of clarity, confidence, and forward movement. I receive what You have already given and step into the life You’ve prepared for me. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee December 8, 2025
Reading Time 4 mins 6 secs – Thankfulness isn’t just good manners; it’s a spiritual posture. It’s how your faith stays strong, your heart stays aligned, and your life stays connected to what God is doing. In a world that constantly pulls on your emotions, drains your joy, and fills the air with fear and pressure, thanksgiving becomes how you stay connected to the victory Jesus has already won for you. Second Corinthians 2:14 reminds us that God always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through our lives, He spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere we go. That’s not just poetic language. That’s a description of your life in the Kingdom. You were designed to walk in victory, carry the fragrance of heaven into every room, walk in faith and not fear, and bring evidence of God’s goodness wherever you go. And the doorway into that life? A thankful heart. Thankfulness Is Your Position of Strength You don’t wait until you see victory to thank God. In the Kingdom of God, thankfulness comes before the breakthrough. First Corinthians 15:57 reminds us that God gives us victory through Jesus. Not someday, not eventually, but as a present, active reality. When you say, “Thank You, Lord, for leading me into victory in this situation,” you are aligning your heart with what God has already spoken. You are: Agreeing with His Word. Positioning yourself to receive. Stepping into alignment with His promises. Philippians 4:6 tells us to bring every request to God with thanksgiving. Gratitude is not the result of answered prayer; it’s part of how we pray. If someone handed you a check and you said, “I’ll see if it clears, and then I’ll thank you,” how eager would they be to bless you again? In the same way, when we approach God with “Father, thank You that You always lead me into victory,” we’re not pretending. We’re trusting His character before we see the outcome. That is faith. Gratitude Changes the Atmosphere You don’t just walk into a room; you carry an atmosphere. We’ve all stepped into places that felt heavy, tense, or anxious without anyone saying a word. But God designed you to carry something different: Peace instead of pressure Freedom instead of fear Victory instead of defeat A sound mind instead of anxiety When you adopt a posture of thanksgiving rather than one of complaint, your home changes, your conversations change. Psalm 100 reminds us that we enter God’s presence with thanksgiving and praise. Gratitude isn’t just something we do; it’s how we step into His presence and shift the atmosphere around us. How We Limit God When We Forget to Say “Thank You” Psalm 78 tells us that the people of Israel limited God not because His power failed but because they refused to agree with Him. God wanted to bless them. He had good plans for them. But instead of aligning with His promises, they complained, focused on what they saw instead of what He said, and talked more about giants than about God. Grumbling doesn’t just make you miserable; it closes your hands. Thankfulness opens them. The same is true for every promise in your life—provision, wisdom, direction, breakthrough, and peace. Ask yourself: Am I agreeing with God or resisting Him with my words? Do I talk more about the problem or about His promise? Have I been limiting God by withholding my thankfulness? Simple Ways to Practice Thankfulness Every Day You don’t have to wait for Sunday to live a thankful life. You can practice gratitude right where you are. Start with these 5 simple rhythms: Thank Him before you see the answer. When you pray, don’t just ask. Take time to thank the Lord that the answer to your promise is already yes. Guard the atmosphere of your home. If voices, media, or conversations are feeding fear and heaviness, turn them off. Make room for worship, the Word, and encouragement. Say “thank you” out loud. To God. To people. For big things and small things. Train your heart to respond with gratitude instead of suspicion or resistance. Worship on purpose. You don’t need a worship team to praise. Turn on worship in your car, your kitchen, your living room. Lift your voice. Let His presence fill your space. Check your heart often. If thankfulness and gratitude haven’t been on your heart much, don’t condemn yourself; just correct your course. Let God restore your joy. A Simple Prayer Father, Thank You that in Christ You always lead me into victory. I repent for every time I’ve complained, drifted, or agreed more with fear than with your Word. Today, I choose to be thankful. I say “yes” and “thank You” to Your promises, Your plans, and Your goodness. Restore to me the joy of my salvation. Lift off all heaviness. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit. Let my life carry peace instead of pressure, praise instead of complaining, faith instead of fear. I receive Your wisdom, Your strength, and Your direction for every situation I’m facing. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.
By Gary Keesee November 13, 2025
Reading Time 2 mins 59 secs – Health isn’t just about how long you live; it’s about how well you live the life God’s called you to. You were created with a purpose, and your body is the vessel that carries that purpose forward. When your body is weary, your mind drifts, and your spirit feels disconnected, it becomes harder to walk in everything God has assigned to you. That’s why good health isn’t optional in the Kingdom. It’s stewardship. God Cares About How You Feel All through Scripture, God shows concern for His people’s well-being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Jesus healed bodies, calmed minds, and restored people to community. Health in His Kingdom is wholeness, not just healing. It’s walking in peace instead of pressure, strength instead of survival. When you take care of your health, you’re not just maintaining your body; you’re honoring your Creator. Every time you rest when you need it, fuel your body with good food, or take a walk instead of worrying, you’re saying, “Lord, I trust you to sustain me.” Health Is a Faith Decision Faith and health are connected. When you believe God for provision, you also believe Him for energy, renewal, and longevity. Your health journey isn’t about control; it’s about alignment with the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:1 tells us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. That’s not a verse about restriction; it’s about devotion. Your body is a place where the Holy Spirit dwells, and how you care for it reflects your faith. Ask yourself: Am I fueling my body for the calling I’ve been given? Do my daily choices create strength or drain it? What does obedience look like in this area of my life right now? Small acts of obedience like drinking more water, sleeping enough, managing stress, and choosing gratitude are seeds of faith that produce lasting fruit. The Rhythms of Renewal God designed life in rhythms: day and night, work and rest, sowing and reaping. When you move with His rhythm, you live from rest instead of running on empty. Here are a few rhythms that restore strength: Rest intentionally. True rest is more than sleep; it’s trust. It’s the decision to stop striving and let God restore what effort cannot. Eat with awareness. Food was meant to nourish you, not control you. Choose what fuels your body for purpose rather than what comforts it in pressure. Move with joy. Exercise isn’t punishment, it’s a partnership. Every step, stretch, or breath can be an act of worship when done in gratitude. Renew your mind. A healthy body begins with healthy thoughts. Replace “I’m so tired” with “God strengthens me daily.” What you repeat, you begin to believe. When You Feel Stuck There will be days when progress feels invisible. Maybe you’re waiting for healing or battling habits that feel impossible to break. Don’t quit. God doesn’t measure health by perfection. Philippians 1:6 reminds us that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion. As you continue showing up with faith, the results will follow. A Simple Prayer Father, thank you for giving me this body as a gift, not a burden. Teach me to care for it with wisdom and gratitude. Strengthen me to make choices that bring you glory. Renew my energy, restore my joy, and remind me that you are the source of my strength. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen. Remember This Health isn’t about chasing balance; it’s about choosing alignment. When your spirit leads, your soul settles, and your body follows. Walk with God, and you’ll find strength that doesn’t fade, energy that renews daily, and peace that carries you farther than willpower ever could.